


to err is human; to forgive, divine

by anarcheologist (sensalito)



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Crack, Dialogue-Only, Funny, M/M, Maybe a tad OOC, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2016-01-21
Packaged: 2018-05-15 08:35:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5778937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sensalito/pseuds/anarcheologist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You know, Alexander Pope said that. Brilliant man he was."</p><p>"I called him Hamilton."</p><p>"I forgive you your weakness, William."</p>
            </blockquote>





	to err is human; to forgive, divine

**Author's Note:**

> It all comes from [this generator](http://writingexercises.co.uk/dialogue-generator.php) which gave me the sentence: "I want to turn back the clock to before..."
> 
> I... don't know. Enjoy.

"I want to turn back the clock to before I met you."

"Hannibal, you're so dramatic, this is only a dog."

"The third this month, William, the third. I could probably make myself a brand new suit entirely made of dog hair."

"That's ridiculous, you'd never wear that."

"Of course, I would not, you do and look at what you look like."

"You're just getting mean for no reason now."

"When you hugged me from behind last night, I thought you were naked you felt so hairy, then I realized you were still dressed."

*gasp*

"There, I said it."

* * *

 

"To err is human; to forgive, divine. You know, Alexander Pope said that. Brilliant man he was."

"I called him Hamilton."

"I forgive you your weakness, William."

"Hannibal, you didn't just imply you were God for accepting that I brought home another dog. I feel like the drama is woven into your DNA."

"It is, just like bad taste is in yours."

"Oh yeah? Well, I wasn't gonna say anything, but the roasted leg on Monday was dry and the sauce too salted."

"You take that back right now, William John Graham."

"Also, I went to McDonald's last week, that's why I didn't eat your stupid salad for lunch."

"..."

"Speechless, are we?"

"... You're sleeping on the couch tonight."

* * *

 

"William no."

"William yes."

"William, I cannot even see the carpet at home anymore with how many dogs we have."

"Buy a new carpet and place it where you can see it."

"That is not the point."

"I don't care."

"I contacted Alana behind your back and we are sending a couple of them off to her."

"... Hannibal, did you just say you contacted Alana?"

"... It was a desperate situation and I was a desperate man."

"..."

"... Is it a good time to tell you I cried on the phone trying to get Jack to take one in?"

"..."

"Also, Zeller and Price."

"..."

"Price was surprisingly cooperative; Zeller was very quiet and hung up on me, very rude."

"..."

"Maybe I shall tell you later, then."

"... I literally can't believe- I'm-"

"I love you."

"You're sleeping on the couch tonight."

"Fair enough."

* * *

"Don't say anything."

"I have started an adoption process."

"You have to stop making people adopt my dogs without telling me!"

"No, we are adopting a child."

"... what."

"I called Alana again and-'

"Hannibal!"

"- she said something about an empty nest and to, I quote, 'knock him up'."

"First of all: stop calling people you tried to kill and who are now chasing us. And second of all: Alana said that?!?"

"Margot did, Alana concurred."

"I'm not- this is- I'm-"

"Am I to be sleeping on the couch again?"

"Yes! I mean... no."

"..."

"... I want children, Hannibal."

"I can go steal a child right now."

"Hannibal no!"

"I was jesting. Children do not understand the concept of survival instinct and I am not a monster."

"I'm deeply disturbed by the way you've arranged that sentence."

"Hmm."

"I love you."

"That is good, because this morning I sent Hamilton to Miriam Lass for her birthday."

"Oh, come on!"

 


End file.
